Let God

Friends. Testing is OVER. OVER. 

O. V. E. R. 

Well standardized testing is. We still have the end of year testing for my data to do. But the Georgia Milestone is done. done. done. done. done. done. 

Anyone you talk to in the state of Georgia who has a relation to a student taking the test or a teacher administering the test has a strong voice about it. I'm not going to give my voice here on this blog, but the stress that was placed on the students and on myself was almost too much to handle. I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off of me and I can somewhat relax...... (until I look at my other to-do list). 

Then in addition to the testing stress I'm still waiting on my grad school application to be approved. Online it still says "In Review for Admission". 

Every Sunday Michael and I go to small group at his church and then head to 12 Stone for service with my family. One Sunday, a couple of weeks ago, both of the messages lined up completely and I truly felt like The Lord was speaking to me. I can't recall the scriptures, my notes are at home, but it was about worrying. I know God has a plan for me and it will all be okay. I just need to not stress about what I have no control over, which is exactly what I was doing. Anxiety attacks were happening nightly and I felt like I was going to fall apart. The stress leading up to this testing, my apartment issues, grad school and my students were tearing me apart. I struggle with handling my stress and anxiety, always have, but since that Sunday I have placed it in God's hands and let him have control. Anxiety happens when we think we have to figure everything out. Turn to God. He has a plan. 

Things are getting better though. I'm letting go and letting God. 

16 days left of school with kiddos. I'm gonna try and enjoy it and not completely wish away the year. But this teacher is READY for summer vacation!

xoxo, 

Lizzie 

This has been my phone background for a couple weeks now. It is a constant reminder to myself to just breathe, everything is wonderful. Not perfect, but it can be wonderful. 

Change

People don't always leave out of hate and anger. Moving creates change. Moving on is a huge step, a huge step of faith. Something that takes prayer and focus. Moving can be big or small. Moving houses. Moving schools. Moving rooms.  Moving churches. Moving cities. It's all the same. Leaving behind the memories and people in hopes for a better tomorrow. 

In the past two or so years I have moved on more than I ever imagined. I left my parents house, left my home church, left all my friends there and just moved. It's been eye opening for myself to see what I can do and who really matters. 

Depending on others became a norm. I knew my plans every Sunday no matter what. My huge group of friends would meet after church for lunch and hangout at someone's house until evening service began. It became the regular. Moving on from that takes trust in yourself. I had a comfort knowing that I had people there for me. When you leave and move on people change. Thinking you're mad and they don't speak. Is that right? No. Am I guilty of it too? Of course. Friendships lost because I live 45 minutes away now? That's craziness. People I always thought would be there for me and love me I never hear from anymore. 

I'm not writing all of this to make anyone feel bad, I'm really writing it for myself to see that change is okay. Change is good. Even though change closes doors, it opens them at the same time. I was somewhere I didn't belong. I wasn't changing for myself. Nothing is as painful as staying somewhere and not changing. I have become a stronger and more independent person because of these changes. I have learned about others, but most importantly about myself. 

Maybe I had to let go of who I was in order to become to I am. Old ways won't open new doors. 

Extra! Extra!

Last week my students' had a homework assignment to write about their favorite subject in school. From a class of 24 about 9 of them wrote about Social Studies being their favorite subject (this made my heart smile). Their reasons made me laugh, only because they were 100% true. 

Social Studies is my absolute favorite subject to teach.

 Absolute. Favorite.

I get loud. I get excited. And I use silly voices to teach my students the material. If it helps them remember it, then BAM I'll do it. 

This week are are learning about Franklin D. Roosevelt. Yesterday we rapped about him and today he went MISSING! We had to post our newspaper ad's in the hallway to help search for him. My kids did excellent on this assignment and I just want to brag for a minute! Check it out below! I got this from Ashleigh's Education Journey

xoxo, 
Lizzie

Seven years

This morning I woke up knowing it would be a difficult day. Seven years ago Papa passed away. I knew this day was coming and I made sure to keep my work day super busy. I tried to keep my mind off of thinking about Papa and the events of this day seven years ago, but it was way too hard. I remember the night I got the phone call that he had passed. I remember exactly where I was. I remember who I was on the phone with. I remember the gut wrenching feeling I got when I saw my mom calling the house. 

Brain tumors suck. They took the life of a loved one. And it sucks.  

Today at lunch I stayed in my classroom and sat in silence. I thought back to all the memories I had with Papa. I thought about when he came to see me at senior night in high school. I wanted him to make it to my graduation and see me walk across the stage so bad, but having him see me walk across the field at senior night with my mom and dad was just as good. I know he sat at the top in his wheel chair smiling and I know he was proud of me. 

I thought about all the beach trips our family took every summer. One memory I distinctly remember is when him and Nana were dancing to Copacabana in the living room of the beach house. He was dancing around the room with nana. I saw the love he had for her as he swung her around and they sang along with Barry Manilow.

I remember the day when I introduced him to Polynesian sauce at Chickfila. We sat in his truck at the Chickfila on Hwy 78.  He liked the sauce so much he used a straw to drink what was leftover.

Or when he came over to the house for Halloween and sat behind the door and every time someone knocked he would scream really loud or make scary noises. 

Or whenever nana would cook and he liked the meal he would get up and say "Enjoyed the suppa".

I remember the day a friend came over to the house and I didn't introduce him to her and he sat me on top of the ottoman and taught me how to properly introduce people. He even made me practice a couple of times. 

I remember how he taught me that you can tell a lot about a person by their handshake. 

Or the time when he "taught" me how to change the color of the text in an email. His favorite was green. 

These are all memories. Every time my family gets together we share more and more. New stories that I haven't heard before. 

Papa, you told me to never give up on my dreams. I hope I'm making you proud. 

Happiness

Happiness. 

I have wanted to blog on happiness for a while now. I asked on Facebook months ago 'what makes you happy' and I got many different responses; ranging from foods, drinks, friends, kids, and family. But I think what made me stop and think for myself was when I read something on Pinterest that said:

Two things prevent us from happiness; living in the past and observing others. 

Simple enough. 

This couldn't be more true for me. The past few months I have spent most of my thoughts living in the past. The same hurt would come and go and I wouldn't realize the issue was I was going back to the same pain and the same hurt. I wasn't stopping the problem and ending it, just letting it continue, month after month. I had the gut wrenching feeling Saturday night that if I didn't stop my actions then nothing would change. Without going into detail, the ole saying "People come and go. The best will stay" is what I have trouble with. I don't like letting people go. 

Everyone has struggles and issues. But what I'm learning is if I have the ability to get through these difficulties then that means I have the strength to get up and move on. Don't let the bad of others actions to tear you down. You are your own person. Wake up and be ready to fight the day. All you can do is move forward and make it beautiful. 

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So what brings me happiness: looking towards the future. 

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