Saturday, June 28, 2014

Everything happens

As I have recently ended my first year of teaching I never had the chance to sit and reflect. With moving classrooms, moving to my apartment and catching up with old friends I didn't see all school year, my summer has been crazy busy but amazing! I seriously have learned so much about myself in the past year. I am capable of so much more than I ever thought. I have learned to not only teach, but listen and love. 

Yes, there were days I wanted to quit my job and never go back, but then the tiniest smile or conversation with a student reminded me of my love an passion for these kids. I had a note on my desk that said "enjoy today" and honestly it was a constant reminder to just enjoy that day. Don't let the stress of testing and meetings have an impact on my passion. 

All of my kids had a different story and background. Just being able to sit and listen to my kids. Having random lunches with them, asking how their weekend was, but just listening to them. That's what I miss the most. 

Everyone told me I'd always miss my first year kids and there were days I thought they were lying to me and I'd never miss this craziness. But I do. Everyday. I miss my babies. Even the ones who gave me my first grey hair. I miss them. 

The other day I sat and cried because one of my "favorite" (I know I'm not suppose to have favorites, but if you knew this kid you'd have favorites too) kids might be moving this summer so I won't see him again. He is the child that made me cry on the last day of school and still today. He started my year by always being at my side, holding my hand in the hallway just because he wanted to feel special, then slowly he changed. Behaviors happened that broke my heart and after continuing to make him feel like he was a person in our family of 4.223 things changed again for the better. On the last day of school while I walked the second load down to the bus, we had one last talk. He told me he didn't want to move because he wouldn't have me at his new school. I fought back tears and told him he would make new friends and would have an amazing teacher there. As we approached his bus he told me bye and gave me a small hug. He walked off and I continued waving to the rest of the kids. Then I felt a small body leached onto my leg. I looked down and it was this student. "Bye Ms. Vaughn I'll miss you." And then he smiled and ran off. 

Friends. I lost it. Tears flowed down my face. This year was tough, but the kids made it worth it. 

This is how you know your are in the right profession. These kids are my purpose in life. To teach them the "school" things but also teach them to love, be friends, to listen, to be kind and to always always always know they are loved. 

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